Everything Else
Who the hell do you guys think you are?
Certain passages are predictable in life, and we hope that our members are able to accept their relationship with Diskârd with grace and humility. Occasionally we encounter members who are irate, or even murderous. Unable to maintain their composure, they heave uncontrollably and shout unanswerable questions at us like:
We are not lawyers ourselves and so cannot offer legal advice. A word to the wise, however: Our Attorneys are collectively referred to as the "Junkyard Dogs" and are known to meet en massse with opposing counsel out behind the dumpster, if you catch my drift.
Philosophers for millennia have pondered the nature of the relationship between humans and inanimate objects. Even the earliest of the pre-Socratics, the Milesians, used tools such as the sundial to explore the interactions between natural phenomena and man-made stuff. In the end, these types of questions might be like asking "What does red sound like?" or "How tall is love?"; grammatically and syntactically correct questions, but ultimately meaningless.
On occasion we have been able to make arrangements. Park out back by the dumpster and wait for the guys to show up. Bring login info for any retirement accounts you control and be prepared to surrender your passport.